Should I Be?

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Should I be angry

with a disease that has taken

almost four years to diagnose?

Should I be angry

with a disease

that has stolen my muscle function

but identified thyroid cancer?

Should I be angry

with a disease

that masquerades so well

I had two different diagnoses prior?

Should I be angry

that the side effects for medications

were worse than the symptoms?

Should I be angry

with a disease that at times

causes me to choke on my own salvia

but has helped doctors find an adrenal

mass?

Should I be angry

with this incurable disease

rendering

my physical abilities

slow in nature, painful,

and sucking life’s energy from me?

Should I be angry

the incidental adrenal mass

could have triggered the diabetes

thereby further complicating

the treament process?

Should I be angry

that my own body has turned on me

in numerous ways

after I quit smoking

declaring a healthier lifestyle?

Should I be angry?

Some days I am frustrated

as new limitations

reveal themselves

and abilities narrow.

But, I am hopeful

relief will come

with new treatment.

And I know

God has got this.

As Myasthenia Gravis

holds me tight,

God holds me tighter

and there is peace

despite a disease

that has thrown

my system into chaos.

No, I am not angry

because I Am a child

of the One who walks with me,

A child of God.

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Deb Correia 3/12/16 ©

 

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4 thoughts on “Should I Be?

  1. Your raw honesty is one of the things that has always kept me reading and respecting your thoughts as well as your eloquently written words. I see the good days; I see the less than good days. Although you now have a new name to give to your body’s adjusted being, you are already in a four year relationship with it. You know what you know. And yes, God has you. And so do I.

    Like

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